living in the in-between

I think it's finally happened. I think I'm finally living between cultures.

Mid-year was last week. So, it was American. Lots of Americas. Which was SO refreshing, but at the same time, I had some re-adjustment to do/culture shock which I wasn't expecting.  Some tiny examples..The conference was so loud all around.  But, definitely during meals. It was really hard to have a good conversation.  Also, the meals were rushed! I mean in the first group, they only gave us an hour.... (Oh how European of me). Overall, there were just certain things that I just had to keep reminding myself, this is an American conference! Whoops.

But, that doesn't necessarily warrant feeling in-between...Until today.

I'm sitting at my favorite coffee shop having my morning with the Lord time before I start all my mass amounts of Admin I need to catch up on, and a girl comes and takes a seat at the table in front of mine.  From time to time, as I look up from reading/journaling, I notice her looking around smiling. Smiling. Like full out, smile, teeth showing- full blown smile.  This went on for a good ten minutes. I'd look up, she'd be off staring, smiling.

It startled me everytime. I start to look around being like oh she's looking to her friend who's coming to take a seat. Nope, no friend arrived. Then, I get a little weirded out. The thought "Ah, WHY are you smiling?!" runs through my head...and then, it hits me.  I just had a stereotypical French moment.

Let me clarify real quick, I say stereotypical because I have wonderful french friends that when we hang out, smiling, laughing, happiness, is completely normal just like any friendship.  But, to stare off into the distance and smile? That's not a norm for the French.  I can say that with confidence because I was definitely the girl who would smile over anything, everything, and nothing.  But, when I moved, people here don't smile just to smile. I quickly learned that smiling for no reason just gets you stared at rather quickly.  And now, I have become the other person, someone I claimed I would never be, the starer.

So, here I am. Between two worlds.  American culture no long feels completely normal, and French culture still feels completely foreign even though I'm unconsciously molding to it...

Oh the adventures of a sojourner... who knows what's going to happen in the next 4 months.