Floating

I feel like I have so many thoughts. So many thoughts, that I'm literately lost in a sea of them. So many that I get overly distracted and can't finish a single one, so I just ignore.  Which. We know. Is never healthy. Thus, I'm trying. I have to sit and be purposeful about it. I have to otherwise I'm going to explode or implode, depends on what pushes my buttons first. 

Right now, I'm floating. Floating in an ocean of possibilities and uncertainty. Where I'm in the unknown without land or anything remotely graspable visible. Yet, there's an under current. An undercurrent dragging me in one direction, yet I don't know if that is going to lead me to safety like a wave pulls you to the shore, or a rip current leading me out to further destruction.  I have no idea whether to fight or to float. So. I sought counsel. Counsel said perhaps try floating for a while.  Be still and know that He is God.  God is who He says He is. That means that the bible is full of promises of who He is…and its ALL still true today. 

I forget that constantly..I forget God is who He says He is. I forget that God can do what He says He can do! I forget that nearly every time there's a command in the bible God says, "Fear not" or something with the same intentionality. I'm in this new digging process, which is why I'm realizing all these things....constantly.

So. I float.  I don't know where too or what for…But, I trust that destruction won't come without some warning, where I'll notice the rip current and be able to get out. I know God doesn't want to bring destruction. But, I also don't want to unnecessarily waste energy if I don't need to be fighting.  So, I float.  Which, for the record. I am not okay with.  It's not fun. It's vulnerable. It's our of control. Floating. Not drowning, Not exhausting energy. Just being in the water. Praying a shark won't come. Believing that the Giver is good and trustworthy. Believing that He's gotten me this far in life, He won't let me down now. 

Floating takes time. 

Hopefully, I can start swimming sooner then I think.....