~Like being told by a native, that I knew the city better then she did. (Which is false, but nice to hear.)
~When there's roadblocks, navigating around without a big headache.
~Having a small conversation completely in French with a students mom.
~Understanding conversations on campus.
~Knowing what's going on in the French side of staff meeting before they translate themselves.
You have to celebrate these victories! Do a little inner happy dance, because there are still those days when everything goes wrong. Thus, to have the small victories in your pocket to encourage yourself.
Today, today, is an utter fail of a day, and it's only 11am. I got massively englished at my favorite coffee shop, which has never happened.
Pause.
"Getting englished" is when you start off in what you think is your normal French, and you get answered in English. Sometimes, actually most times now, I carry on in French, and they will switch back. But, recently, that hasn't been happening. Haven't gotten englished in quite sometime.... Not so today. I kept going in French, she kept answering in English, and then the barista asked me all the questions in English as well! I couldn't believe it. Maybe they want to practice their English. Who knows. But, it's one of those things that just make you feel a little defeated.
Not to mention, I had just come from the bank with our landlord, and Karen, our resident daily blessing who is a God sent and my translator for the morning. We had a problem with our rent transfer and the bank, so we went in to sort it out. My comprehension level is getting better and better, so I know what everyone is discussing, yet no one talks to me, just about me. Makes me feel a little/a lot bit like I'm five again and the adults are discussing... I KNOW they don't mean it. It's just, the way it is, things need to be taken care of. My independent side is screaming though. I just wish I could take cared of it myself. I wish how I knew everything works. I wish I could communicate more fluently!!
Being in a different culture has those moments. Those moments of, at home, I could deal with this problem. I could deal with all of this and feel completely confident. Yet, I'm not home. And even at home, there will be things that cause headaches and I won't be equipped to handle. P
This whole process broadly points out how there is nothing truly satisfying in this life. I came to France with high expectations on all fronts. I won't deny it. I thought I would at least be conversational by now instead of just phrase based. I thought living here, I would hopefully find my niche in life. I was expecting it to fill me. Challenge me, but also fill me. Oh how wrong on all fronts.
Every day, I am more and more convinced that it is truly God who satisfies. In convenience, we want challenge, and when in challenge, we desire to run to convenience. What fickle hearts we have.
Today, I press forward. Running into the arms of my ultimate satisfaction. Because, He keeps my fickle heart calm. Trusting, moving forward, keeping my head high because no matter if I'm a foreigner in a strange land (where are stereotype isn't highly looked upon), I'm known by the King. He is all that matters.
1 Corinthians 8:3 "But if anyone loves God, he is known by God."
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