Stuck

Yup. Stuck.

I don't even know if I can fully explain it. My percentage is stuck.  I'm stuck at home... (Honestly I just would like to find a park with beautiful trails to go to...is that too much to ask NOVA!? I know I can't necessarily get wifi in a park but c'mon)  I just. feel stuck. 

{I can't wait to get to Paris to enjoy the parks.  I promise myself to go at least once a week- even when it's freezing.}

I just need prayer plain and simple. I haven't been stuck so far at all in my support- it's been slow and steady wins the race.  Until you run outa gas. But, I haven't run out of gas...the Lord is just choosing to say. Trust me, you learned to trust in the slow and steady, how about you trust me when I stop it.  He has control over it.

Today, I took a lot of time in prayer. I'm trying to take this time to train myself in what it would look like for me to be in constant prayer, devoted to it like the disciples when they were waiting for the Holy Spirit. 

I feel as if I'm in the upper room right now. I want the door locked- some josh garrels ambient music on in the background- and I just want to talk to my Jesus.  I'm waiting on the Holy Spirit.  I'm asking and waiting. 

The disciples were devoted to prayer in those few days before the Holy Spirit came, but they also moved forward.  They picked another disciple to take place of Judas.  {Poor Matthis, no one ever talks about him!!} But, I think this small part is important. Yes, the disciples were devoted to prayer, absolutely, but they also moved forward while waiting.  They didn't wait in complete stillness. While that's good sometimes, to be still, it's also important to keep going. 

So, while I feel stuck, I choose to believe the Lord that He's got this bill. I'm not totally sure where it's going to come from but neither did people like George Mueller. He never knew where the next 100$ would come from, or how they could take in one more orphan. But, He would do it anyway and pray. Complete trust in the Lord. 

I learned what complete trust in college was, but now to have complete trust in support raising is a whole new level.  I'm pretty sure this is why I'm sitting here at 62% instead of being at 75% like my boss people say I should be.

Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Romans 12:11-13

Devoted to prayer, having complete trust in a new way, and leaving room for Jesus.